


Something about Clouds or Nightmares?

by indigonightmare



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:47:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 16,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21571708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indigonightmare/pseuds/indigonightmare
Summary: Bruises as dark as the midnight sky under which you sat.Blood as wet as the dew on the grass.Everything hurt. Always.But that was ok.Because you loved him.And he loved you.And he owned you.
Relationships: Bill Cipher/Reader
Comments: 21
Kudos: 27





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sunhealer24](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sunhealer24/gifts).



I’m bleeding. That’s all there is to it. He hurt me again. Our games are foolish, I know. Nothing’s ever going to change. He’s just going to keep doing it, and I don’t even want to stop him.

“Y/n?” I hear someone call. It’s Mabel. I hope it isn’t. She’ll flip out over nothing. 

My blood is soaking into my shirt. I knew I should have waited for him to come back and help but I got up anyways. 

He loves me as much as I love him, with his whole heart and soul. And I love him with all my heart and soul. 

I loved that he owned my mind, body and soul. I never wanted to be with anyone else and he never wanted anyone else either. We were forever.

I was starting to get weak from the blood loss. We had gone too far this time. I hope he came back soon.

“Y/n!” Mabel exclaims. “Dipper!” She yells frantically.

Where. . . where is Bill. . .

My eyes flutter, she’s floating in and out of my vision. “Dammit! Stay with us!” Mabel’s shaking me now.

I’m sorry. I can’t. I’ve failed you.

I can see yellow over her shoulder. “Bill!” I try to yell, but only a quiet sigh escapes the prison of my lips.

Darkness swirls over the world as I fall into the cold grip of sleep.

I hope I wake up.


	2. K

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> K

I open my eyes. 

Where am I? The abyss surrounding me is as dark and bleak as a cold, starless night.

“It’s the void Y/n.” A voice answers my thoughts. “A space between worlds. Technically, you are dead.”

My heart breaks in my chest. Bill is all alone in the world now. My voice cracks as I speak. “So why am I here?” The blackness seems to swallow up my words.

The disembodied voice sounds almost curious. “We want to know how you got here Y/n.” It hesitates. “We need to know what to do with you. If you die, we have to decide where you go. If you don’t, we need to decide what to do with you. You can’t stay in the void forever.”

My heart throbs, a dull, steady ache. “Send me back to Bill.” The response is automatic.

“We’ll see.” The voice says smoothly. 

A candle suddenly floats in front of me, a small puddle of light pooling from it. “Take the candle.” The voice of the abyss encourages me. I stretch out my arm, my hand reaching the soft glow. Hesitant, I wrap my thin fingers around the tapered wax.

“There we go Y/n.” The voice soothes. “Now, what do you see?”  
I lift the candle up, the darkness flowing like velvet around it. Small wisps of purple flame beckon to me, spinning slowly. They illuminate small fragments of the inky material around me.

“Nothing.” I whisper. There’s nothing at all.

“Look harder.” The voice suggests, kind but insistent. I do, my eyes sweeping across the endlessness. It’s small, but I catch it this time. A small mug, wispy steam coming from it. “What’s this?” I question.

“Nothing is without a purpose.” The voice assures me, not answering my question. I’m beginning to think it’s like everything else in this place. Soft, dark, and unreal.

I wish this were another one of Bill’s illusions. I miss him so much. There's nothing I can do for now. I sit down, grabbing the mug.

The darkness covers me like a blanket, but I never grow sleepy. “Y/n.” The voice says. “Please. Listen to us. Drink from the mug.”

I want to go home, so I do as it tells me. The liquid tastes like nothing short of pure warmth. “Y/n. You’re safe here.” The voice promises. “But we need to figure out what’s to become of you. You need to tell us how you got here.”

I frown slightly. “You mean in the void?” I ask. “You already said that I died.”

“No.” The voice sighs patiently. “Start from the beginning. The very beginning.”


	3. L

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> O

The candle extinguished; the dark no longer unfamiliar, but an old friend. “The very beginning?” I ask, closing my eyes. The memories wash over me bittersweet in flavour now that I’m separated from the one that made them so happy.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rain streaked over the windows, warm and light. My favorite weather. It was barely spring, the frost having just reluctantly left the earth before the rains started coming.

“You know Mabel,” I say quietly. “It’s days like this that I wonder.”

“Hm?” She asks, looking up from the new sweater she was knitting. “What is it?”

I laugh softly. “I wonder on days like this. Why things don’t jump off of the page, why dreams don’t simply pop up and come alive. On days like these, it seems as though they would.”

Dipper looks up too at this, from the book he is perpetually reading and rereading, his expression dark. “Y/n, there are some things you don’t want to jump off the pages.” He warns cryptically. I turn to him from the window, where I could see his reflection. “Really? Like what?” I ask, tilting my head.

He sighs, and says, “Forget it.” He says, starting to get up. “I’m going to go find Grunkle Ford.”

“Lighten up Dipper!” Mabel smiles, punching him lightly in the shoulder. “That was a couple of years ago. Ever since we turned 18, you worry too much!”

He cracks a slight smile, for her. “Yeah, okay.” He says, leaving anyway, though in a better mood. I'm not surprised he'd lighten up for his sister, though she's one of the only ones. Younger than the twins by a matter of 5 months, I still remember their 18th birthday, 4 and a half months in the past. I, nearing my 18th myself, had little care for it, unlike Dipper and Mabel.

Mabel sighs, and goes back to working on her sweater. I turn back to the window. The rain falls like crystals, and makes me wish for the type of love you find in fairy tales. The kind where the prince doesn’t care what he has to go through to get to his love, and where she’ll wait for him, no matter what the burden, as Penelope did for Odysseus.

I once again feel a pang of loneliness, as I have before. A deep longing for something more. Mabel and Dipper have each other, the fun loving sibling countering the duller one; and the time we spend apart, Mabel’s always with her girlfriend, Pacifica. During this time, Dipper hangs around Ford, and I. . . I’m alone.

A deep sadness once again wells up within me, unnoticed by the only other person in the room, Mabel, as she hums happily. The rain now reminds me of my tears, and I suddenly can’t take it anymore. Standing from the window, I leave the room, slipping on my shoes.

Stepping outside soaks me without my coat, but I don’t care. The rain clings to my hair, matting the strands, and it seeps into my skin, and completely through it. I just need to go somewhere alone.


	4. kml

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mlknlkn

“It all happened so fast.” I explain, partly to the void and partly to myself. “I couldn’t prevent the emotions, I couldn’t control myself. I needed an out. So I ran into the rain.” On a day when people could jump off the pages of books, I shouldn’t have been looking for something impossible. Because on a day like that, what I was looking for was exactly what I was bound to find.”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Running outside into the rain, the slick mud underneath my feet, I was surprised I didn't fall. An act of God, sent straight from Heaven. Or a demon, straight from Hell.

I collapsed against the rough bark of a tree, far away from where I had come. It scratched at my face, and gripped my clothes in a tight hold. I sobbed, deep and wracking. “Why me?” I gasped. “Why don't I have anyone to love?” I petitioned the universe.

I whispered, tears filling my eyes, “I'd trade my very soul for someone to love. . .”

A hand on my shoulder, and a voice straining to be gentle. “Are you alright?”

I nod, not trusting myself to speak to the stranger. “Hey there. Look at me.” The stranger says, gently trying to turn me around to face him or her.

Wiping my face on my sleeve, I let myself be moved to face the stranger. He's a tall, handsome man, wearing a yellow suit. “Hey there.” He says, gently. He lifts up my head with one of his black-gloved hands, the thin, agile fingers cupping my face. His other hand still rests on my arm, and I blush as I realize how close he's looking into my eyes.

He tilts my head right and left. “Looks like you have some nasty scrapes there.” He remarks before letting go and stepping away gently.

“My name's Bill.” He says, his piercing golden eyes not moving from mine.

I clear my throat slightly, still trying to wipe the tears from my eyes now that he's not holding my face.

“Y/n.” I say, voice still slightly choked by tears.

“You'd really trade your soul to have someone to love?” He asks. Gold. His golden eyes bore into my own once again when I look up at him.

I feel compelled to tell him the truth. “Yes.” I whisper. “Everyone I know has someone to love. Family or someone else.”

“You don't have a family?” He asks, and I shake my head slowly, tangled strands brushing over my face.

“I moved here a few years ago. Alone.” I emphasize 'alone' slightly. I don't like talking about my family. Not after. . .

I put a stop to those thoughts. I don't like talking about my family.

“I'm sorry. I'm sure you'll find someone in the near future.” Bill says. “Maybe they'll keep your soul too.” He moves forward and gives me a firm handshake.

I swear I see a flash of blue, but it's hard to tell in the rain.

He lets go, and turns around. “May you find your way back safely.” He says. His tone soothing.

He waves casually back to me. “See you around Y/n.”

“Bye Bill.” I whisper, and I start to make my way back to the Mystery Shack.

When I turn around one last time, trying to catch a last glimpse of the handsome man, he's gone.

Vanished without a trace, it was almost like he was never there.


	5. dbn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dn

I swallow, my voice thick. “I-I didn’t know who he was. But he seemed different. And not just because he was walking around the woods in a yellow suit.” 

“Continue.” The void prompts gently. I close my eyes, even though darkness surrounds me. Taking a deep breath of the calm air, I let my voice carry through the space, continuing from where my memories left off.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I wandered through the area for a while, until I finally remembered which way I had come from. The warm rain was starting to bring in a thick fog which curled lazily into the town, white and almost smoky. I only noticed it once out of the woods and almost to the shack. It billowed around my ankles, sprouting into curls and puffs, but with no real pattern. It was becoming denser by the minute, and before it blocked out all but a few feet ahead of me, I saw the shack.

Running into its safety from the rain and accompanying fog, I heard Dipper and Mabel. “I hope that Y/n didn’t get lost out there!” Mabel said, her voice fraught with worry. Dipper spoke next, but his voice was full of anger and laced with venom. “This is just like him!” He seethed. “That damn yellow triangle!” “Language!” Mabel chided him gently.

“Who are you talking about?” I asked, walking into the room while trying to squeeze out my hair. “Oh my God!” Mabel said, relief evident on both her face and in her voice. “We were afraid you’d gotten lost out there!”

“Yeah, it’s thick.” I said, remembering how I’d lost almost all visibility outside only moments ago. Dipper’s expression was still dark as he answered my question. “We were talking about a troublemaker. A dream demon we encountered a few years ago when we were thirteen.” About a year before I moved here then.

“He tried to take over the world, starting with Gravity Falls.” Dipper said, but his chest swelled up with pride. “We all stopped him. Sent him back to his maker, whoever that was.” I consider for a minute what Dipper’s saying, his words sending my head reeling.

“His name’s Bill Cipher, little nasty triangular thing.” Mabel supplies helpfully, and my blood runs cold. The stranger in the woods said his name was Bill. Maybe I just heard her wrong.

“Did you say Bill Cipher?” I ask warily, and she wrinkles her nose slightly in distaste for the person. “Yeah.” She responds. “That’s him.”

“If you ever see him, stay away from him.” Dipper warns. “He’s bad news. Nothing good can ever come from meeting him.” There’s a pang in my chest, and it feels tight. “Excuse me.” I say, my voice strained. I run upstairs, leaving the twins mystified, but they don’t follow me.

How could that kind stranger I met today be the same person the twins were describing? They described Bill as a monster, and if my Bill and theirs were truly one and the same, that just couldn’t be true. The Bill I met today was a gentle soul, if a bit of an odd one.

My mind snagged on the moment that our eyes locked, and I was caught in the memory of his golden eyes trapping mine in their embrace. Lost in the liquid gold, my mind’s struggles to free itself ceased, and I simply stared. There was suddenly a searing pain in my own eyes, and the memory left me. Closing them, I clutched at my eyes until the pain subsided.  
Looking into the mirror across the room, I was startled to find my pupils rimmed with a band of gold, the only separation between them and my dark irises.

“Incredible.” I breathed, coming closer to the mirror to examine it further. It glows softly, winking in the light like a ring of real gold.

The door opened, and I whirled around, on guard. “Y/n?” Mabel asks softly, facing me. “Are you okay?”

My heart racing, I nod to her. “Are you sure?” She asks, sitting on the bed. “Come here. Tell me what's really wrong.”

I walk towards her as if in a trance. As I sit on the bed, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and I blink. No gold ring. Did I imagine it? “Y/n?” Mabel questions, noticing I'm blanking out again.

“Hm?” I ask her back. “What's really wrong?” Mabel sighs. “I’m not Dipper. You can talk to me. I promise.”

I sigh. “It’s about earlier. When I got lost in the woods.” I admit. “I met a stranger that I’m not sure was real. He said his name was Bill.” Mabel hesitates for a minute, as if trying to figure out what to say. “Was he a yellow dorito?” She finally asks. If this weren’t so tense, I would start laughing at her description. “No.” I recount. “He was a tall man. Wasn’t a bad looker either.”

Mabel giggles at my description. “”Then you shouldn’t have anything to worry about. The name must just be a coincidence.” I nodded, relieved. “Must be.” I say. But I can still feel the tingling of the gold ring in my eyes; I can still see the memory of him in my mind’s vision; I can still hear his voice in my ears.

“My name’s Bill.” He had said. But was his name Bill Cipher?


	6. cnhcfg

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lnfblkfnblkgn

The blackness of the void reminds me of night. With my eyes closed, I can almost imagine the moon glowing brightly; the stars shining with the light of the heavens. I can almost feel the cool breeze kissing my skin, like those cold lips. . .

My eyes shot open, and the warm velvet of the void is disturbing, the opposite of cool, crisp night; stealing the ghosting memory of his kisses against my skin. I shudder violently at the feeling, unhappy to be snapped suddenly out of my fantasy. “Y/n?” The voice of the void asks me. “Are you alright?”

No. I’m not. “Yes.” I lie. “I know you’re lying.” The voice confronts me. I stay silent for a moment. “I’ll be fine.” I finally say. Probably. I wipe at my suddenly heavy eyes, and my fingertips come away wet. I’m crying. At this point, I no longer know if it’s from the loss of my love, or the pain I’ve caused him. I have no choice but to continue. I've come too far now to back down.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Later, when I finally leave the Mystery Shack, the fog has almost completely lifted, the rain virtually nonexistent. It’s been a long day, definitely tiring. The misty remains of the sky’s tears is enough to soothe my tired eyes; enough to make me lift my face to greet the dewy droplets.

Walking through the remains of the storm, I feel at peace. I unlock my door, and close it behind me once I’m in my house. In my bedroom, I set my phone on the dresser, and strip. The clothes are dry now, though they still carry the slight scent of the wet earth. I walk into the bathroom, raking my fingers through my tangled hair, and turn to the shower.

Stepping in, I let the warm water flow over me, the bubbles of the shampoo in my hair, the caress of the soap on my skin. When it hits my face, I feel the still unfamiliar, though not unpleasant, tingling sensation in my eyes again. I sigh as I step out, wrapping myself in a towel and shaking out my hair. I look at myself in the mirror, once again, gold-ringed eyes staring back at me.

I swear, I see a flash of yellow behind me in the mirror, and I feel hands ghost over my bare shoulders. Clutching my towel tightly to my chest, I tear my eyes away from the ones in the mirror, and frantically examine the rest of the area. Whirling around to find something the mirror claims isn’t there, I still find nothing. The feathery touches are gone, and I can only assume the presence is too.  
Perhaps it was just my imagination. It’s been too long of a day, and I just need to go to bed. That must be it. I walk into my room, and let the towel drop, slipping into pajamas. I climb in bed, blocking out all thoughts, and I’m out like a light. But that never means that my mind stops.

Dreams overtake my subconsciousness, and I find myself in an armchair, a half full champagne glass hanging loosely in between my fingers. I laugh, the bubbly laugh that comes from too much champagne, as if my presence here is funny.

Taking a look around the room, it’s decked in gold with accents of black and red. It’s very plushy, high-end. Unusual of the simplistic Gravity Falls. Unless, of course, we’re talking about the Northwest Mansion. But it doesn’t quite share this color scheme. In fact, there’s not a room in it with any of these exact colors.

It feels as though I’m waiting for someone, in this strange dream my head has concocted, so I sip my champagne slowly and wait. If I’m waiting for someone, this dream won’t end until I find that person.

The gold bracelets on my wrist clatter lightly as I raise the glass to my mouth. I sit there for what feels like an hour; the person never shows, the glass never empties.

The gold that adorned both myself and the room winking in the soft light, I finally set down the champagne glass, its bubbles still fizzing merrily. I stand, stretching my sore muscles, and the room starts to spin abruptly. I stagger back, but the chair seems to have disappeared and I fall hard to the floor. With an uneasy sense of vertigo, I force myself back to my feet. I have a sense that it would look stupid to be sitting here on the floor.

“Well, what do we have here?” A voice asks, and a yellow triangle floats in front of me. “Y/n. How nice of you to drop by.” He greets. I search my memory, but somehow, I don't remember meeting any talking, floating, geometric entities. I'm pretty sure that's something I would remember. Then I remember my conversation with Mabel and Dipper.

“You're Bill Cipher.” I realize. “There we go!” he exclaims. His one eye slowly blinks through a few different images that I don’t quite recognize. He says nothing, circling me.

I try to follow his movements, but soon give up and opt to stare down at my hands instead. The fingers are as long and thin as mine truly are, but that's where the similarities end. These hands aren't covered in the marks of both work and play. Gone are the splinters, scrapes, bruises, and cuts. Not even the hint of a callous shows.

These hands are a stranger's, soft and unblemished. There are nails on these hands, buffed and filed. They shine of molten gold.

“What do you want?” I ask, growing uncomfortable with the silence. “In the moment or in general?” He asks back. I consider for a moment. “In general.” I decide.

“To liberate this world!” Bill laughs as if he finds the prospect funny. “But most of the world is free.” I say, confused. “Oh Y/n.” the triangle says. “You have yet to learn what is going on. All of you meatsacks are bound by your petty ‘rules’. I’ve watched this go on for many summers now since my failure before.” He pauses, turning to me. “I believe I can liberate this world through the help of a willing partner.”

There’s a flash of bright light, spiraling yellow and black, and when I drop my hand from shielding my eyes, it’s Bill from the woods standing in front of me. “No!” I scream, it echoes off the walls. “You can’t be him!”

“What?” Bill smirks. “I can’t be the man you inadvertently fell in love with?” He paces around me, circling me again like a hungry shark. “You told me you would give your soul to love someone. So now you do, and now I own you.”

I crumple to my knees, holding my head. This can’t be true. He has to be lying. Dimly, I’m aware of Bill picking me up. “Hush Y/n.” He says softly. “You won’t remember any of this in the morning.”

My eyes heavy, I struggle to stay awake. I don’t want to forget. “Shh.” Bill soothes, his lilting voice now picking up the strands of a melody.

“If you get to Heaven before I do, coming forth to carry me home, Then tell all my friends that a’ coming too, coming forth to carry me home. Swing low, sweet chariot, coming forth to carry me home. . “

I fight it, but he soon sways me back to sleep and soon, to reality.

“Swing low, sweet chariot. . . coming forth to carry me home. . .”


	7. lkdfnblkfndb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dfxknbxnfdbklfn

I laugh, short and derisive, letting my tears spill into the waiting velvet. The blackness of this abyss catches all my tears as soon as they fall.

My heart throbs. I miss him so much. I try to choke back another sob futility. My soul should be with his. Now my soul is stuck here in an endless limbo, to be ascended or damned to Hell. No choice but to continue. Time to head back into the fray.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I woke up in the morning, dimly aware of having a dream. I was still shaking, but I remembered nothing of it. Shrugging, I brushed it off and got up slowly. I stretched, and a flash of yellow caught my attention. A gold ribbon, braided into my hair.

I don't remember putting it in, but it looked cute, so I left it alone. It didn't really look as if it would come out without a fight anyway.

I went downstairs for breakfast, but strangely had no appetite. My head hurt, as if I had drunk too much champagne, and I decided to just grab a cup of water and go.

It was barely misting outside, again, and it was pleasant, if only a bit chilly. The weather made me smile as I sipped my water on the way to the Mystery Shack. The cool, blue rain was my favorite weather.

I frowned as a thought started tugging at the edges of my mind. The golden sun with its yellow rays and bright glow was better than the blue and silver misty rain would ever be. But I loved the rain.

Trying to shake off the unsettling thought that didn't seem to be my own, I turned my face up to the quiet, misty sky. Blue and silver were always my favorite colors.

Walking a bit farther, the Mystery Shack in sight, I heard a voice in my head. “Yellow and gold are your favorite colors.” I tilted my head. But they weren't. Blue and silver were my favorite colors. The voice again. “Yellow and gold are your favorite colors.” They weren’t!

I sank to the ground, clutching my skull, fighting against the foreign invader in my brain, the one scrambling my thoughts. An aching cry, a plea, was torn from my lips. “Please!”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I shudder now, tears falling freely still. How long have I been here, forced to recount this tale. I’m tired, as tired and drained as if I was alive. “Don’t make me continue.” I say, defeated. “I can’t go on.” But there’s that gentle voice. “But you must.”

And I know the void is right.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The wind whispered in my ear, taking the edge off the pain. The whispering dulled in my head, and I was able to stand. Wiping the shining dew from my lashes, I righted myself. I must go on. I cannot let myself go mad as I did when my parents were. . .

No. I won’t think about that. I can’t think about it. I must go on. Bracing myself, I started towards the Mystery Shack once more, not letting my mind stray from the sole thought of getting there.

I collapsed into the building, and inadvertently, into Dipper’s arms. “Y/n?” He questioned. “Are you okay?”

Shaking like a leaf, I wanted nothing more in life than to tell him the truth. To tell him, no, I wasn’t alright. To have him comfort me. “Yes. I’m fine.”

He looked doubtful, but accepted my explanation. “You look tired. Did you get much sleep last night?” Dipper asked, changing the subject. Trying to remember, I said, “I. . . think?” The statement ended in a question, oddly. I couldn’t remember sleeping, though I know I did.

His eyes searched mine, questions blazing in them, but I turned away. He would not, could not, drag an answer from me. Today, or ever. Especially not when I didn’t know the answer myself.

“Y/n?” Dipper questioned again. “ Yeah?” I responded, not looking at him.

“Look at me.” He said, gently tilting my chin up so that his eyes, did in fact, meet my own. “I know I’ve been harsh and distant lately. I know Mabel’s been spending a lot of time with Pacifica. But we still care about you. That’s not going to change, no matter what you or anybody else does.”

I nodded through my tears. “O-okay Dipper.” I whispered, barely trusting myself to talk. “Come on.” He said. “I think Mabel left some of her ‘Mabel Juice’ in the kitchen.” He muttered, as a side note, “I can’t believe she still makes that stuff.” Speaking to me again, he asked, “Do you want some? Her ridiculous creation, while practically inedible, might make you feel better.”

He watched me intently, concerned, until I nodded and he smiled. “I’ll go get you some then.” I offered a hesitant smile back right before he left.

Standing in silence for a minute, I looked around. Same old room. Same old people here. Change was coming, I could feel it.

My chain of thoughts was disrupted. “Hey there kid.” A familiar, handsome man said. My attention snapped to him. “Bill.” I greeted, managing the tiniest of smiles.

“Hey there Y/n, why you so down?” Bill asked me. I shrugged, not sure I should share my concerns with him. He had no aura around him. No barrier of energy, no feeling of a tangible soul vibe.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I took another breath. “He had no aura. That prolly should have scared me, but it didn’t” I close my eyes, remembering his golden making the other colors blur and dull, pulling myself back into the memory.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He stared at me for a moment, making me feel slightly uncomfortable. Then, a strange, lilting melody deftly started weaving its way through the air.

It was peaceful, and I felt my eyes getting heavy. I looked at Bill, he seemed unaffected by it. Dimly, as if muffled, I heard a glass break and cursing from the kitchen. I heard my name, “Y/n!” A scream, from Dipper.  
But I looked to Bill. “Shh. . .” He hushed. “Go to sleep.” He started singing to the strange melody, sweet and soothing, imbued with sleep straight from Hypnos himself.

“Swing low, sweet chariot, coming forth to carry me home; Swing low, sweet chariot, Coming forth to carry me home. . .”

I felt Bill’s strong arms lift me up as my eyes drifted shut. “Shh Y/n. I’m coming forth to carry you home.”

I swear, as sleep overtook me, I heard it one last time from his sweet, lilting voice.

“Coming forth to carry me home. . .”


	8. STILL NO SUICIDE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> STILL NO SUICIDE
> 
> Also this chapter just got merged with another one and fixed :)

I couldn’t stop the tears, the sobs wracking my body as I trembled under the weight of all the pain. Yet, the memories kept confronting me, crashing over me like tidal waves on the shore. They didn’t stop, and like the waves, they would soon drown me.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Look at me.”

I can’t tell if this is a dream or reality, only that I’m lying on a floor and someone’s talking to me. The floor is hard, but at least clean. “Look at me.” The voice demands again. “I’ll only ask so many times.”

The tone implies that I shouldn’t test this person’s patience or push at limits. I force my eyes to open. Bill crouches in front of me, his hand on my head. I groan slightly, a headache forming.

“Dream or reality?” I manage to ask him. Bill’s eyes darken into a deeper gold, different than the ones that I saw that day in the woods. He doesn’t answer, but stares at me his hand resting on my head.

Bill stands, and I remain, on the cold ground.

A second later, I feel him grip my legs roughly and pull them into his lap. A cold edge of something metal grazes my skin, and I freeze. “Look at me.” Bill demands a third time, and I listen, struggling to sit up. 

His smile is like nothing I’ve seen before. “I have a hold of both your feet.” His iron grip isn’t letting go, and the steel edge of the blade glints in his hand. “Should I cleave both of your legs?" He asks me, and my stomach suddenly has a knot in it. But not from fear but something else... The metal digs into my ankles, starting to split the skin as he pulls me closer. It’s so sharp. Sharp enough to slice through skin, muscle and bone.

“In my hand,” His voice is lilting, gentle and almost playful. “I hold a silver knife,” He takes the knife, if it truly is silver, from the skin of my ankles, and jerks me so fast that before I know what’s happening, my back is solidly pressed against his chest. His breath is hot against my neck, and his voice merely a whisper in my ear "You belong to me now" he bites my neck and to my surprise i moan.

“I want to monopolize every single thing you do,” He whispers into my ear again, almost singing. “Contain you for myself inside of a dark room. . .”

I moan softly, and his arms curl around me tighter, the knife on the floor in front of me. The combination of the threats and comfort have me wishing for more. It feels so nice and it makes my heart swell with joy.  
“Shh. . .” Bill says, calming my thoughts. I close my eyes leaning into him. “I love you y/n.” I can hear him, I can feel him, I can smell him. It soothes me.

“Can you understand me?” Bill asks slowly, and I nod yes. “You need to wake up Y/n.” I whimper, clutching his arms. He can’t leave me all alone.

“Y/n.” Bill says, his voice stern but soft. “Wake up. Now.”

I open my eyes, and I’m lying on a bed. Dream then. But I can remember his words perfectly. Bill’s sitting next to me, as in the dream. And as in the dream, his eyes are dark when he looks at me. “I love you” he whispers in my ear. “I love you too” I whisper back.

Bill takes a knife again.

He brings it to my arm.

I love him.

He cuts across. Once. Twice. Three times.

Blood wells to the surface. Its beautiful

Bill gently brings my bleeding arm to his mouth and laps the blood up. His tongue is kinda odd and tingly but its extremely pleasant. He pulls me closer to him and embraces me. “I love you” he whispers to me again. “I love you too” I whisper back.  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I’m quiet for a minute. “I hadn’t ever thought much about if I were into masochism or anything at all in that department really. But Bill...” I shift uncomfortably, trying to keep the tears from flooding over again.

“He really was perfect for me.”

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Choking back a sob, I ask, “Do you want me to continue?” I’m nothing without him. Not in a depressed abusive brainwashed way or because he literally owns my heart and soul. I don’t want to exist at all without him as much as he doesn’t want to exist without me. Every part of us revolves so much around the other that it is unbearable for us to be seperated long. 

“Shh. . .” The voice says. I feel a presence next to me. “It’s okay. You’re not his anymore.” I scream at the voice till my throat is raw. “How can you say that?! I love him! You don’t understand! You’ll never understand!” How could he think I was upset at being his?! Knowing I was his brought me joy everyday when I woke up. Everyone wants to belong and I had found where I belonged and now it was gone.

I suddenly feel a distinctly human form wrap me in what attempted to be a comforting hug. But it made my skin crawl. I wanted this man off of me. But he doesn’t pull away. I struggled wishing for Bill but he pulls me closer. “Oh child, what tragedies you have endured.” He whispers softly. “And I’m sorry that we’re far from done. Tell me the road you’ve walked.” He was really getting on my nerves.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why do I enjoy this? This pain? That isn’t right, humans should shy away from pain but whenever he hurts me I love him more. It hurts but it feels amazing. What is wrong with me? Am I so desperate for attention that I’ll take it in any form? No, if he were cruel I wouldn’t want it, I would fear and hate it. So what is wrong with me?

I was pulled out of my thoughts by a noise, I looked up. There he was.

My love. My tormentor. My savior. My imprisoner.

“Y/n.” He said. “Look at me. Meet my eyes.” I looked up into the soft rings of golden metal. His smile was something that made my heart glow. He reached out his hand to me and I took his hand, and he pulled me up to my feet. “Bill. . .” I trailed off as my body collided into his and I felt the soft swish of his clothes. So familiar. “Shh.” Bill said. “Don’t say anything. There are no words needed.” He was always so gentle. “Love. . .” I started again, and he pushed one finger against my lips in a gesture of polite quietness. I nodded, letting him lead me.

Bill is an incredibly bright light. I always thought if I found someone it would be in the dark but I can’t imagine someone as wonderful as he is. I love him so much already. And I know he loves me too.


	9. Seriously you are banned from suicide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seriously you are banned from suicide

When I was younger, I never believed in happy endings. I never believed in those golden moments. I never believed that my prince would come one day and sweep me off my feet. But now that my prince has come to sweep me away I can hardly believe it isn’t some wonderful dream. 

For so long I could feel something bad in the very core of myself. A rotting emptiness. A hollow, corrupted part. I hated it. I didn’t know where my soul lied, but if I had, I may have cut it out of my body.

Technically I’m a prisoner here as much as a guest. After all I didn’t agree to come here and it didn’t appear that I could leave. But I don’t much care because I love him and as long as I’m around him that’s ok. 

“Y/n!” I hear Bill’s voice but I can’t see him. I want to. Strong arms wrap around my shoulders. “Does it bother you that you can’t leave?” he asks burying his face into my hair. “A little but I’m happy to be with you.” I respond enjoying his warmth. “Maybe, if you’re good we can visit the outside. Although I’d much rather keep you here hidden for myself.” I giggled “I love you Bill!” “I love you too (y/n)” 

He pulls me along with him into the bedroom, and pushes me down onto the bed, pinning my arms down.

He looks almost feral, but as always, completely in control. It makes me quite hot and bothered, not knowing what he's going to do, not knowing what's going to happen. My heart pounds in my chest, and I think it will burst out any minute. Bill smiles down at me, his hair brushing lightly over his face. “Too bad you're only 17.” He whispers. “You look so appealing, so helpless.” I can feel my blood flow directed South. 

I halfheartedly writhe in his grip, laughing, but his grip grows ever tighter. He lowers his face to mine, and I turn, trying to deny him in anyway I can.

But his mouth somehow finds mine, and he kisses me. It’s not like I thought my first kiss would be. Spicy and magical, I feel a spark of passion bloom in my chest as the kiss deepens.

My breath is gone when he finally pulls away. I feel embarrassed with myself for wanting him.  
Bill laughs darkly. “Don’t worry my dear. Though you do taste delicious, your birthday is in three days. I can contain myself that long.”

I’m shocked and excited at his words. I’m almost eighteen. I have three days until he claims me in a new way.

“But until then. . .” He looks at me with a barely concealed hunger. “I think I have something else you’ll enjoy.”

I feel suddenly cold as an object floats in the air above my chest. It’s a small heart, pulsing frantically. Another one emerges from Bill’s chest, and a shiver runs down my spine as I look on with fascination. His is gold and mine is silver. “That’s your soul, and mine.” Bill says calmly. “In a minute, they’ll bond. And I’ll always be able to know where you are.”

I smiled shyly, I admittedly don’t know much about this, but I do know that a soul is supposed to be a spiritual culmination of your entire being. The souls come closer, and closer until the light is almost blinding as they start to take up one space. There’s a burst of warmth and then the two souls separate. They hang for a minute, a small silver heart in the center of all that gold and a slim gold band around a silver heart. They bounce back into our chests. 

I felt overwhelmed with emotion. I was now bonded to Bill with my entire being. And he was bonded to me “Shh. . .” Bill shushes me gently. “Don’t cry unless I make you. It’s just tears wasted.” I put my hand up to my face in surprise and it came away wet. “I-I I’m sorry” I laughed “I don’t know why I’m crying, I’m really very happy.” He gently kissed me on the forehead “We did just exchange parts of our souls, so it makes sense that you would feel lots of different emotions at once. I love you” I nodded that made sense “I love you too”

I didn’t used to believe in true love. I didn’t used to believe in soulmates. But I was wrong. There is love so strong that it will always find you.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Y/n, what happened to your family?” The voice asks, and I shift uncomfortably against his body. “I don’t feel comfortable answering that right now.” I reply.

“Do you still. . .” The voice starts again. “Are you still bonded to Bill?”

I nodded stiffly, still wishing he would not touch me

“Oh stars.” He whispers. “I’m so sorry.”

Assuming asshole. I wouldn’t want it any other way.


	10. If you suicide I will bring you back to life and fight you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you commit suicide I will bring you back to life and fight you

I pull out my soul, and it comes easily. The first time I did this, I almost killed myself. I scared Bill half to death. The gold band still nestles around the silver of my soul, hugging it. Love is something I always wanted. Love is something I was scared to give freely. Love is something I always received from Bill.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Love is something I’ve never understood. The motive, the drive. How Mabel and Pacifica love each other. How family loves each other. I’ve pushed all memories of my family so far from my mind, so far into the corners, that I’ve all but obliterated them.

I push myself up off the bed. I’m not ready to think about that yet. Perhaps not ever. But I can’t right now at least. Walking over, I open the door to the room, ready to leave this room for one of the few times since I’ve entered this place.

My stomach reminds me, rather angrily, that I haven’t eaten for god-knows-how-long. I need to find food or work up the nerve to remind Bill humans need food. I felt bad trying to bother him about things like that, he was so proud, thought he was taking such good care of me. I didn’t want to rain on his parade.

I can almost feel him through my entire being, almost feeling his ownership. Smiling, I walk on, leaving the fairly plain room once and for all.

The hall is much more ornate, reminding me of my dreams. I don’t really fit into this atmosphere with my t-shirt and jeans. Just another reminder how much of an outsider I am here.

Scooting down the hall, I admire the decor until I finally reach a door from the endless corridor. I twist the doorknob, mercifully unlocked. Once opened, I am enveloped with the rich scents of pastry. Of meat, spices, salt and sugar. I breathe in the scents heavily, the warm yellow glow surrounding me as I realize how hungry I truly am.

I approach what looks to be a meat pie cooling on top of an oven, but I can’t seem to touch it. Growing increasingly frustrated, I attempt to grab a glass bowl and smash it against the pie, hoping that it will shatter whatever won’t let me reach the food. The dish seems to scoot away from my hand until it’s out of range, and I growl in frustration.

“Y/n.” A warm voice calls out my name like he’s done it everyday of his life. “Sorry love, its pretty easy to forget humans need sustenance. I made you that pie, but I thought maybe you would like to eat it in the dining room with me?” 

“Ok!” I agree happily. The more time we spend together the better.

“Follow.” The simple command rings with his power, and I can’t help but feel a little turned on as I do as he says. There’s a door at the end of the kitchen we go through, which leads to a room, presumably for eating, what with the table filled with food and everything. “Sit.” Bill commands again, and again, I do as he says, sitting in a chair next to the impossible meat pie.

Bill sits next to me and I hesitate as he starts into his food, not sure if I’m supposed to wait for a command or not. Bill looks up, and sees me not eating. “Go ahead and eat.” He commands me, and I start to eat. I was never a fan of meat pies but it tasted absolutely amazing. I can feel him chuckle at me as I wolfed it down.

“Do you remember a dream you had?” Bill starts talking to me, and I wipe my mouth, preparing to answer him. “No, of course you don’t, I wiped it from your memory.” He answers himself before I can.

I set my fork down as he takes my hand. It’s like a wall was destroyed in my mind, allowing me access to the part he had previously blocked off. I remember the dream, and laugh at Bill’s statements as I relive them.

I glance at him. He’s eating calmly, “Are you full?” He asks after I stare for a while. I shake my head no. I’m not finished eating. He laughs “Well then why don’t you eat some more. I wasn’t planning on letting you have my meat quite yet” he teased waggling his eyebrows at me ridiculously. I laugh at him and start eating again.

When I am finally finished, I look up, and he’s staring at me. “Finished?” He asks, and I nod yes. “Good. Then get up.” He commands, and I stand, following him again.

We twist and turn down the corridor until we reach another door. What’s behind it turns out to be the room from my dreams, lavish in decor and comfort. A fire burns cheerfully in the grate as Bill sits, taking a glass of blood red wine and sipping it. At least, I think it’s wine.

I move to sit down myself, but Bill’s words stop me. “Don’t sit Y/n.” He says slowly, drawing out the words. He looks at me “Now of course I’ll always make sure you have plenty to eat but” He pauses grinning “Would you like to show me your gratitude?” I was taken aback but then nodded eagerly.

“Strip for me then.”

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Did. . . did he actually. . .” The voice is faint, and even with the dim glow of my soul, I don’t care to look at him, not past the flash of purple I can see.

“Yes.” I cut off. “Yes. He did. And I loved it.”


	11. NO FLIPPING SUICIDE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NO FLIPPING SUICIDE

“You can’t be serious.”

I focus on the slow pulsing of the dim light of my soul. “Do I look like I’m joking?” I ask, and silence greets me.   
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“O-okay” I say, my voice and body trembling.

He leans back into the chair further, still sipping his drink from the crystal glass.  
I shake, as my hands pull up my shirt hem quickly. Even as nervous as I am, I’m eager to please him in anyway I can. How far does he even want me to go?

Halfway off, Bill hisses in displeasure. “Slower.” He commands, and I find myself pulling it off like it’s stuck to my skin. When my shirt finally hits the floor, Bill’s eyes are already raking up and down the bare, newly exposed skin. I reach for the clasp on my bra, but Bill stops me there. “Not that.” He says, and I feel both disappointed and relieved as my hands reach instead for the button of my jeans. The button’s undone, and then the zipper, I slowly slide the jeans down my legs, stretching the limbs out slowly and letting the motions come naturally. Bill hums slightly as my ankles are freed. “Come here.” He says, and I approach him, suddenly feeling no shame in my next to naked state. He unfolds his legs, and I sit on his lap.

His long, slender fingers brush through my hair, reaching my bra clasp himself, and toying with it. “But you’re not 18.” He sighs. I pout. Why do I have to be 18? He raises his hands back to my head where he roughly knots the hair around his fingers. I cry out in pain, warmth flooding my body, and he smiles. “How beautifully you sing when injured, even in the slightest.” He lowers my mouth to his own, and kisses me harshly, his mouth on mine, his tongue dominating my own as he explores every inch. His other hand runs down my side, and I shiver at his touch.

He lets me go after a long moment and stands up suddenly knocking me to the floor. “Get dressed” he snaps rushing out the door. shoves me away even and he stands up.   
His words cut deeper than any knife. Doesn’t he know how much I love him? “Bill!” I cry out to him as he steps. He kicks me harshly. “Get out of my way.”

“Bill!” I cry again. “Get dressed and go to bed.” He says, kicking me again, harder and throwing me off of him.

He leaves, not even glancing back until he gets to the door. He half turns his face, and I can see his face looks torn. I stand, groaning as gravity presses onto the flowering bruises. I feel even emptier than before. Why do I always fuck everything up?

Head aching, not bothering to put my clothes back on, I climb into Bill’s bed. It dulls the emptiness of him leaving a little.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Damn.” The voice whispers.

“I do love him and trust him. And I know he loves and trusts me.” I say. “Communication was really hard for us in the beginning though which hurt both of us a lot.”

My soul pulses as if sympathizing with me, and I clear my throat as it throbs particularly painfully. I take a breath and finally, simply state, “Sometimes, love is a battlefield. But it can always be worked out so that both sides win.”


	12. jdvnjdn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jnvjndfkj

One day. Just one day until my 18th. It was all I could think of when I woke up. My heart trembled with excitement before remembering last night’s catastrophe. My insides ached. I wished we could talk it out. I didn’t even know what I had done wrong. 

My mind drifts to my past, somehow now less painful in comparison to the issues between Bill and I. 

What really happened? I never let myself really recall the memory. All I remember is fire and that I was afraid. So afraid.

I squeeze my eyes shut tight. It's still painful, but I have to know. At this point, I can't stop the plaster of my mental wall from cracking and crumbling.

I was asleep when I smelled the smoke. Awake suddenly, I was surrounded by fire. Yellow and blue fire everywhere. The heat was overwhelming, and I started crying. I heard my parents screaming as the fire burned them to ashes. But over that, I heard the fire crackling. And in the depths of the fire, there was laughter.

Breathing heavily, I jerk myself from the memory. I'm even more startled when I see the man in gold watching me from across the room. He arches an eyebrow gracefully. “Nice memory Y/n? Here. Let me share one of mine with you.”

I'm sucked straight into another memory, almost before I see his mouth curve upwards into a smile.

I instantly know this memory is not mine, mainly because I'm staring at myself.

The man whose memory this is stares at the girl on the bed. Her name is Y/n. He laughs gently. “I see a great future for you little girl. Perhaps I’ll make you mine.” He touches her forehead delicately with one finger and she stirs, smiling slightly. The man laughs again. “Oh yes. Great things. I’m really sorry to have to change this part of your destiny but things need done.”

He floats gently away from her, almost lazily until he reaches the girls parents, halfway around her house. “Now you.” The man says. “Your time is over. It’s time for you to pay.” His fingers click together, and like a lighter, a small flame, shifting blue and yellow appears. He flicks it away, and it takes to the dry wood quickly. It greedily licks up to the bed, and the couple wakes up. They scream for help, for anyone, and the man laughs. He watches as they are consumed by the fire, watches as the panicked girl, Y/n wakes up, afraid with nowhere to go. She's confused as she's shielded from the fire, afraid of her parents’ screams. The house burns to ash around her, her parents’ bodies part of the ash that's on her face, in her hair, on her skin, everywhere. When the police and fire department finally get there, Y/n is screaming. No, this girl won't willingly sleep for sometime, she won't let these memories bleed back into her head. She's too afraid and too traumatized. She needs to love someone and she has no one.

The man, no, the demon frowns at her sadness but turns to someone and laughs. He disappears quietly, with Y/n in his mind.

I recoil sharply from the memory, fresh tears streaming down my cheeks. “I-I. . .” I can't form words as Bill smirks at me. But there is a different emotion in his eyes. A lonelier one. 

“I killed them. Thanks for the memory.” He turns on his heel again. “Happy day before Y/n. I hope you enjoy it.”

\-------------------------------------------------------

The shadows never call retreat. Like friends, they cover me. Tears spill as the bloodstained fabric I wear refuses to wipe them away. They slide off and land somewhere in the endless darkness.

And I sit in the emptiness, listening to the throb of my soul, waiting for my tears to land somewhere, wishing my life could have been different. My heart is torn apart by this mockery of the thing I once treasured. By this war.


	13. sirnuprnbiu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> srjinv srn jirf

In the silence, I almost thought that the man in the void, the man I hated had gone. “H-hello?” I hiccuped. “Be rest assured, I'm still here.” He answered me, laying a hand on my shoulder, his purple sleeve just coming into range of the light of my soul. I jumped and yelped at the sudden contact. Why did he have to touch me?

“O-okay.” My voice was fast cracking into pieces, perhaps a million. It was breaking, like me. It had been tough to come to terms with Bill killing my parents and it still traumatized me a little.

“Are you alright?” The voice asked. “Why do you even bother asking when you can just read my mind like him?” I accuse. “Hell, I don't even know who you are. I wish Bill could come and save me.”

I can almost hear him smile creepily. “I may be a tad strange, but I'm certainly not Bill Cipher.” He says his voice curving in disgust on Bill’s name. “I promise that I won't hurt you Y/n.” He grabbed me in the darkness. I wanted to crawl out of my skin. “I just need to know everything that happened. I don't know what we can do about Bill, or even if we can do anything about Bill. But we can help you. Send you to Heaven, Elysium, whatever you believe in, or give you another chance at life. I know this is all painful and foreign for you, but we need you to tell us what happened so that you can move on in one way or another. Do you understand?”

I nod slowly. “Y-yeah.” I pause steadying my voice. “I understand.”

\-----------------------------------------------------------

I sat there, numb for awhile. I for some reason, couldn't process what Bill had said and shown me. When it finally did process, it hit me like a ton of bricks. He killed my family. For what? My parents hadn’t been exactly sweet to me but what gave him the right to decide who lives and who dies? Who gave him permission to play God?

I slowly get up, peel off the blankets, don't bother to pick up my clothes, don't bother to put anything on. There has to be a blade somewhere around here. There has to be something sharp. Pulling open a heavy dresser drawer almost dislocated my shoulder, and seeing the contents made me slam it shut immediately, embarrassed. Yeah, no.

I open another one, taking care of the force I use, and I'm lucky this time. The drawer had a lock, but it wasn't sealed. It was open, leaving me free to access it. And it's full of blades. The top drawers contents and this drawer's both confirm what I already knew. Bill’s a sadist. But I won't need to know that in five minutes. In five minutes, I'll be dead.

I pull one of the blades from the drawer, cutting my fingers, but I don’t care. It’s just a small amount of pain. It’s nothing like it could be if I continue on. There’s an air of finality as I run a finger of my other hand along the blade and a blood droplet blossoms, staining a small section of the shiny silver metal crimson. It’s sharp, just how I need it to be. I raise it above my arm. I know exactly what vein to cut through. I know exactly where to cut so it will kill me.

Suddenly strong arms were around me. Strong arms pinning mine to my sides. His grip around my wrist, twisting it and forcing me to drop the knife. I cry out from the pain and loss of the blade. “(Y/n) what are you doing?!” He cries. “Why are you trying to kill yourself?” Tears flow freely. “You killed my family.” I accuse. “I'm just saving both of us time and trouble by killing myself.”

His grip on my wrist is suddenly much tighter. “You aren't allowed to kill yourself. Ever.” His body pressed against mine, trembling. He buries his face in my hair and my hair gets damp. He was actually crying, that was so unlike him. “You can never kill yourself, I won’t allow it. I love you, you can’t leave me. I love you.”

I'm pulled out of my thoughts by agony. Something. . .broke. I look at my wrist, searing with white-hot pain. Bill's holding a mangled mess. His fingers are starting to stain a deep red and I can see a flash of white. He looks even more panicked. “Shit, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry (y/n). Here hold still please”

He lets go of me, but not my wrist, instead pulling me along with him into an ornate bathroom. He opens his hand up to assess the damage on my wrist and I make a mistake. I look.

Flesh is torn as though by claws and white bone is visible. Blood clots on the edges and flows freely in the middle. Bill turns on the tap in the sink and pushes my wrist under it. Ever so gently, he starts cleaning the wound off and out. It stings, but not as much as the agony of my wrist being broken in itself. The water flows red, then pink, and finally clear. He turns off the tap and reassesses my wrist.

It isn't as bad now that he's cleaned away all the blood. It's only a small break, and it's a clean break. Not nearly as bad as it could have been. It will heal quickly. Bill pushes the bones back together and I hiss through my teeth at the action. He takes a roll of thick bandages and begins to wrap.

He wraps until the slowly forming pinkish red stain doesn't show through. He wraps until I can't move my wrist, and then it's set. All cut and dried, Bill says, “Don't try and move that until your wrist is healed.”

I bitterly ask, “Why even bother? What? You need me in good shape to muder me like you did my parents?” Bill looks at me “I know it's long ago and your memories would have faded but mine haven’t. I saw how they treated you.” I remember my parents weren't always nice but I couldn’t recall anything horrible.

I turn away from him. “Please (y/n) just trust in me. I love you” I say nothing and eventually he sighs sadly and leaves.  
\---------------------------------------------------------

I take a second to rest my voice from telling the void, the fates I suppose, my story. I laugh bitterly. “I thought at that moment he truly was a demon bent on ruining my life.”

“Of course I was wrong but learning to listen and communicate can be very difficult.”


	14. jndf jnfjnfj

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sifv iornbniurn

“I couldn’t explain it. I never could. Before meeting Bill, if you’d asked me how my life was, I would have winced but told you it was perfectly normal.” I told the man of the void. “But Bill, he changed everything. Yeah he was a little controlling sometimes but really he was trying to keep me safe out of love.” Tears roll down my face, fresh and salty. There must be an ocean somewhere below at this point. The void man grabs my soul then the splitting pain starts, and I double over in agony. Coughing, I cup my hand over my mouth, trying to stop anything from coming out, but it comes away wet. Blood. I feel like I’m being torn apart, like my entire being is violated and dying as the creep cups my soul. My head is pounding and my vision is fuzzy. I think I’m going to die again. I’m somehow able to hold out a bloodstained hand for the soul and he places it in my palm, the gold band shining brightly.

My vision clears, my head stops spinning and I’m able to straighten. But it still feels like there are claws constricting around my soul. “Never do that again.” I choke out, trying to pull myself together. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How do I describe waking up that day? It was Hell where there should have been Heaven. Bill was nowhere to be seen, not that I was complaining. I’d rather not see him for the rest of my life. Or at least that’s what I told myself.

Unfortunately, that wasn't an option since I was living with him. Put that way, it almost sounded like a normal boyfriend-girlfriend function. But it wasn't. Nothing about this would ever be “normal”.

Maybe, if I just go back to bed, I can pretend it never happened. Maybe I can wake up and my parents will be alive and well and I’ll be happy with Bill. I fell back onto the bed, closing my eyes. If I could just sleep. . .  
Drifting off again, I heard a gentle voice in my dreams. “Wake up Y/n. . .” I opened my eyes. Oh yeah. He can enter dreams.

I grab a pillow and push it over my face. I scream into it, frustrated. Today reminds me that I’m still just a teenager. My life has often made me feel like I bear the weight of the world on my shoulders.

It's snatched from my face, and I'm left blinking against the harsh light. Bill leers over the edge of my vision. “Wake up Y/n. No suicide for you, especially today.” I blink, partly because of the light and partly because his words are garbage to my confused brain and still screaming mouth. Bill lays a finger against my lips. “Shh. . .” he whispers.

I shut up, craving more of his touch, but his skin soon, much too soon, leaves mine. And then he's gone, like a whirlwind, in just a mere instant.

I drag myself out of bed and don the outfit that is lying there on a chair. A mid-length dress of sunshine and simple flats of midnight. Let's just get this day over with.

Scurrying through the hallways, I go until I find a door that's open. The kitchen. It's not in the same place I remember it being at all. I think this place is changing to infuriate me, rather like Bill.

I know he's waiting for me in the dining room, just like I know I should hurry as not to “worry him”. But I don't want to hurry. I want to stall as long as I can.

When I finally reach the dining room, dragging my feet the entire way, I catch a glimpse of Bill's pained expression. Sitting as far away from him as possible, I waited for him to say something. “I love you.” His voice was laced with hope. I don’t reply, instead choosing to shove some food into my mouth. I can practically feel his heart break from across the room. I feel bad, I want to go comfort him and tell him I love him. No I remind myself. He killed your parents. He probably doesn’t have good intentions for you either. He can’t be trusted. The thought doesn’t sit right but I ignore it and him for the moment and focus on eating.


	15. niunipfnpiunfd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sjbrnrpin

“It made my heart so heavy you know. I wasn’t listening but he wasn’t doing too well either.”

\-----------------------------------------------------------------

Bill got up and walked over to me and gently cupped my face and turned it towards him. “I think I understand what you’re upset about. As humans age they are more likely to remember only the positive things because you’re more likely to think over that than the bad things so those paths stay strong while the bad memories weaken and sometimes disappear altogether. Especially if it’s a memory you want to avoid. You remember your parents in a mostly positive light and then you have the traumatic memory of their murder and you now know that that was me. Since you don’t remember how they treated you this makes me seem truly evil to you. Please” he lovingly brushed his thumbs over my cheekbones “Allow me to pull out the forgotten memories. So you can see what happened. And if you still hate me then. Well, we’ll try and talk it out then.” I scoffed “If the memories are gone how are you gonna pull them out?” He sighed “I’m a dream demon. The mindscape is my realm. If any of them are still faintly there I can strengthen the connection so you can pull them out and look at them.” I hesitated. He pulled out our souls and brought them together so that they touched. It felt warm and strange. “A promise made with two souls is unbreakable. I promise you I won’t provide any fake or tampered memories. Just your own direct memories.” I felt my soul surge with something before it bounced back into my chest. “Ok” I said and he smiled gently at me. He stepped back and there was a flash of light and suddenly a yellow triangle floated where he had stood previously. He seemed to smile at me before he disappeared. I sat awkwardly fidgeting not really sure what to expect. Suddenly I felt a gentle movement in my head and my vision was filled with images. Me cowering before my mother who was screaming at the top of her lungs at me for not having put my laundry away fast enough. My father dragging me down the steps of our house by my ankle because he had asked me to do something unpleasant and I had refused. My mother kicking me in the side while I was trying to tie my shoes because she was mad about me being ungrateful, striking me in the chest when I was next to her because I was ruining her life. My father leaving for long weekends to smoke, drink, gamble and cheat on my mother then coming home and telling me to leave him alone when I wanted to see him. My father saying he never wanted a kid, my mother telling me she would show me what a real witch was. More and more memories came that made me cringe. I had begun to sob. I hadn’t even been very old. It was no wonder I was so screwed up. My father never wanted me and my mother constantly threatened to get rid of me. No wonder I didn’t understand love. I curled up in a ball in the chair as tears wracked through me. Their voices echoing in my head about how stupid and useless I was. What a disappointment and a failure I was. How I would never grow up to do anything other than live on the street. Suddenly a hand touched my head. I looked up and saw Bill back in his human form. He looked somewhere between furious and horribly sad and upset. He gently scooped me up and set me on his lap and hugged me tightly to his chest making soothing noises and stroking my head. Eventually I calmed down and sat sadly hiccuping in his lap, my head resting against his now tear stained shoulder. “Maybe” he began “Maybe I didn’t handle your parent’s execution in the best way. I should have protected you better and I’m sorry for that. They owed me a great deal and I planned on just having them marry you off to me when you were older because when you were born you struck a cord in my soul and I knew we were meant to be. But the way they treated you...I’m sorry but I had to eliminate them.” I cuddled into his chest more “You probably didn’t have to kill them.” I said “But I understand why you did it now. It’s still a lot to process but I don’t hate you for that anymore.” He smiled and kissed the top of my head. “I love you” he whispered. “I love you too” I whispered back. I could feel him grin as his chest swelled with pride and joy. We stayed like that for awhile before I remembered the other reason I had been upset. “About the other night” I began. He sighed “Yes about that. I’m incredibly sorry about that too (Y/n). I didn’t want to take you before you turned 18 and I was very close to losing control and just ripping you to pieces right there. I didn’t handle that well and for that, I am sorry.” I felt relived  
“Ok, I was really worried that I had done something wrong.” He laughed “No pet, you were being very good. It was my issue.” “Ok” I smiled at him “I’m really glad we talked everything out. I love you so much.” He turned my face towards his and kissed me lovingly on the lips “I love you more than you may ever know and I’m glad we were able to talk this through too.” He hummed “Speaking of little pets” His hand snaked down towards my nether regions. I jumped and yelped in surprise as his fingers electrically glided over my panties. 

He had a sadistic, half-smile on his face. The lustful, possessive gleam in his eye. . . I couldn't handle it. I was suddenly very wet and very horny. “Did my pet want to play a game?” He grinned, leaning in and nipping at my neck making me writhe in pleasure. I barely choked out a “Yes sir.” I looked up to meet the solid gold of his irises; the hard, cold metal that had always entranced me.

“Good girl.” They glowed, the gold almost alive, molten. It filled me with an almost warmth. Smiling hesitantly, I let him sweep me up into his arms.

He carried me to his bedroom, dropping me into the luxury of his sheets. An idiot’s smile plastered across my face, I watched him shuck his shirt and throw it haphazardly to the floor. Then, his lips were on mine, hot and passionate.

I reached up, my hand light and small in his tousled hair; he reached down, wrapping my body into his arms. The kiss broke and I was panting slightly for air. His arms left me, and I jumped as I felt his hand on my bare inner thigh. “Shh. . .” He whispered, and I smiled, letting him comfort me with the small statement. His hand made its way under the hem of the yellow dress and a few minutes later, I lay completely bare before him.

He kissed me softly as chains suddenly hooked my limbs to the four corners of his bed. A beautiful silver knife appeared in his hand. “Hey pet” he kissed me “Promise me something” I was soaking wet. “Yes anything” I panted “Promise me you’ll never try and hurt yourself again. I control your pain.” He said tracing lightly along my skin with the tips of the blade never catching the skin. “I promise. I promise I’ll never try and hurt myself again, my pain belongs to you.” I said almost whining with need. He grinned and kissed me “I love you” he said “I love you too” I said back trailing off into a moan as he began slicing through my skin. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“That night was absolutely amazing. Knives, whips, toys and him violently fucking me. It was just amazing. Like pretty much everything I ever did with him.” The void man made a sound of disgust in the back of his throat.

“I miss him so much”


	16. gng

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chgmh

I sip from my mug. “The world’s a hell of a place, isn’t it?” I ask the void man. He laughs eerily in the pitch blackness. “Sometimes.” He says. “Sometimes it truly is Y/n.”

I work up the nerve slowly and ask him the question I’ve been wondering for some time now. “How do you know Bill?” I inquire. “It’s. . . personal for us.” The man starts, choosing his words carefully. “We’ve known each other for a very long time.” He seems touchy with the subject. “Continue with what happened” He orders. I nod, swallowing.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A little over a week after my 18th birthday, Bill had to leave for an important thing that had come up. I was miserable and bored without him and spent hours wandering the hallways and corridors that were constantly shifting and changing. I would get lost for hours on end before finally stumbling around to an unlocked door and collapsing on whatever bed was inside. I lived day by day, bored out of my mind and my heart and soul weeping for Bill’s presence. I slept in whatever bedroom was open, I ate whenever I woke up and found food placed in the room; presumably for me.

I had yet to see many people most days, if any. When I called out to them, they didn't even turn; like I didn't exist. I began to wonder if they were figments of my imagination, dreamed up in the loneliness of my isolation.

I decided that I was slowly going mad from loneliness and depression. After all, for all its lush furniture, all of its extravagant decor, all of its sprawling space; at heart it was nothing more than my building. Empty and meaningless without people to fill it. Home is where the heart is and my heart was wherever Bill was. I wished he would return, hold me tightly and kiss me, then beat the living lights out of me and fuck me hard enough I thought my bones would break before gently scooping me up, taking a gentle bubble bath with me and drifting off to sleep in each other’s arms.

I missed him with every fiber of my being.  
What I didn't know was that Bill had just returned and was watching me at that moment. About to go to bed, I murmured about how much I loved missed him. Slipping underneath the soft sheets of the bed, I fell asleep.

I don't know how much later it was when I woke up and felt the bed sink with the weight of another person next to me. With no introduction to the topic at all, he started talking. “You know Y/n, it's very interesting how long a human can survive. I mean, your body is so resilient. It's amazing how much of you I can cut off and still have you survive.”

My heart stopped and I flipped around to see him full of sudden joy. All I could see were his sparkling gold eyes brimming happily. “You’re finally back!!” I tackled him. “I love you” He sighed wrapping me tightly in his arms. “I love you too” I cuddled into him. We sat like that for a bit. “Now come on. Get up.” He hit my side in a slightly rough gesture, and I moved slowly, still tired. “Lights!” Bill called out and they came on, blindingly bright as I staggered to my feet. Bill gave me another command as soon as I stood. “On your knees.” He said. He was standing next to me, his breath hot in my ear.

Complying, I got down onto my knees, the tall demon towering over me. I shivered my stomach filling with excitement. He started humming to himself, twirling a blade that was surely not there a minute ago. I smiled kneeling in front of him and entirely at his mercy. He bent down, eyes level with my face and whispered to me. “I’m going to hurt you so badly that you won't know anything but pain.” Bill promises me. “I'm going to cut slowly so you can feel every fiber of your skin break. I'll let your blood drip out slowly. I'll make sure you feel everything.” I shiver at his exciting words.

He nips at my ear before whispering to me “The human body has between ten and twelve pints of blood. Losing as little as 25% of it could kill you. That’s only two to three pints. Losing five to six pints will definitely kill you.” I nearly moan. “I love you Bill” I whisper “I love you too (y/n)” he whispers back.   
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I shiver, the memory still excites me. I can almost feel his loving hands on my back, my shoulders. Gripping my arms with a possessive touch. His hot breath is almost on my neck.

But another pair of hands, clammy hands; unwanted hands, are shaking me. And a disturbing voice drifting in and out. Bill’s ghostly touches are gone, leaving only the creepy, skincrawling, man of this void. “Are you okay?” He asks me.

I take an irritated breath, and let it out slowly. “I was.”


	17. Lemon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But its more like lime

“No one but us realizes the true beauty of these things. The silver of the knife, matching your soul. The soft glow of my golden light. The blood pooling softly to the floor. Your blood. The simple fluttering of two hearts.” Bill whispers. It’s in his hand. The light blade in his slender, strong fingers. His eyes are hard when I meet them.

His mouth crooks up into a smirk. “Y/n, you have no idea what you’re doing, testing me.” He says. And I know I don’t. I never have.

My heart is pounding; my adrenaline pumping. I can't move. Bill tosses the knife, then catches it, adjusting the grip in his hand. The anticipation is killing me. I love it when he hurts me like this. And he knows it and enjoys hurting me too.

Pain. Sharp, exquisite, pain. The blade of the knife slid along my shoulder as smoothly as cutting thread. I cry out as the knife pulls away, slow and steady. “I love you.” I say, my voice cracking. “I love you too” He replies. His voice is calm, but if I listened closely, I could hear the giddiness, the rush, hidden in its depths. 

It's all a blur of pain and pleasure. Blood's everywhere. And I’ve got rows of bruises blooming across my skin. I smile, I love doing this so much. I try to vocalize this but vision is going dark from the sensory overload.

I bolted upright in the bed, breathing hard. I feel disoriented and out of place. “Y/n.” Bill’s calm gentle voice breaks through my near panic attack. “Calm down. It’s ok, you’re ok. I love you.” He pulls me tightly to his chest and strokes my head. My heart rate slowly starts to even out and I start to calm down.

“Come back to me Y/n. I love you more than anything.” Bill speaks softly. 

I nuzzle into him. “There we are my sweet Y/n.” He whispers to me. “You're mine, and only mine. Don't you ever forget that.” I nod happily.   
\-----------------------------------------------

I started to break down soon then.

He loved me. He was the only person to really love and care for me for so long. My heart and soul ached painfully for him. Distantly, where my soul felt the tug of his I could feel it throbbing and aching with as much raw pain as I currently felt. I hated this. Being torn away from him. I can feel the tug to go back to him. My love, my joy, my peace. I want to scream. Why can’t I just go back?


	18. Blegh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What an exhasting chapter to read/write. Emotions are terrible.

I woke up to find everything seeming off. The colours weren’t quite right and Bill was nowhere to be seen. He was supposed to get back sometime today from a trip and I was hoping to see him this morning.

Most days I would wake up at some point. Time was almost meaningless here, at least to me. Bill seemed to have some system of keeping up with the current time and date. I only knew that at night, it was darker and silent in this polished palace of his. But both day and night always seemed both too short and yet endless.

After rousing from my sleep-I was often lucky and wandered through amazing dreams courtesy of Bill-I would either find a meal of some type in my room, presumably the kind being served at the time I awoke, or Bill would sweep me up in his arms and carry me lightly to the dining room where we would eat together or he would feed me which I enjoyed far more than I cared to admit. He always made absurdly rich food which seemed so strange having survived for so long on McDonald’s. 

If Bill was busy unless he was doing work that I could watch, I would wander the halls aimlessly, read a book, write a letter proclaiming my love to Bill or draw or paint, anything to avoid the insanity of being alone. When Bill wasn’t busy, we would sit and cuddle and watch dumb movies or tv shows from Earth that he thought the plots of were ridiclous or we would play board games-he was a master at chess...and every other game-or card games or video games, or he would show me things from other worlds and other realities, or we would just cuddle and read together, or paint together. We would dance together, and sing together, and cook together and draw together. He would create whole worlds in little pocket dimensions for us to climb around and explore together or picnic in or anything else we could think of. And of course we had lots of hard heavy sex followed by hours of gentle hugs, fluffy blankets and warm bubble baths. I sometimes saw other people and even other humans but none of them acknowledged me which always reminded me how alone I was without him. But I didn’t mind, he could send me back to my friends at any time and I would refuse unless he came with me. I didn’t wanna be anywhere without him. And unless he was gone from the area totally every night was spent sleeping held tightly in his warm and loving arms. It was paradise.  
The golden glow of the place was dimmed, as though grown cloudy. I pulled myself out of bed and dressed slowly. I thought I could feel eyes upon me and it made my skin crawl. I knew he could more or less watch me at all times but it never gave me a bad vibe cause he was protecting me. I stepped out of the room and slammed directly into his chest.

His golden rings gleamed, a sharp contrast to his black gloves. The golden topaz gleamed dully, almost as his eyes did. “Y/n.” He greeted, his voice slightly slurred. He reeked of alcohol, and a strong brew at that. “Bill are you drunk?” I asked concerned. A weird look crossed his face. “Why don’t we get something out of the kitchen?” I suggested “A little food usually helps if you’ve had a lot to drink.”

As I tried to skirt around him, he caught my arm in an iron grip. “Ah Y/n, where do you think you’re going?” He smirked. “I didn’t give you permission to leave yet.” I winced at his tight hold, but told him, “Bill you’re drunk. You should eat something and go to sleep. Then we can talk.” A certain kind of stubborness burned through me. I was very concerned, he had never done this before.

His mouth was suddenly by my ear. “Oh but my dear, you do. Did you forget that I own you?” Wonderful. I shoved him away from me. “Stop it Bill.” His expression turned ugly as he dragged me back into the bedroom. He threw me down on the still unmade bed and towered above, looming as though an unwanted shadow would. “I-I do lots for you” He shouted. “This is how you treat my kindness?” I started to duck as he became increasingly more aggressive. “I give you a place to live, food, clothes, I let you know secret stuff about me! I took you away from the world, and protected you here!” Then came the truth. “Who else would want you anyway? Am I really not good enough for your love? What more can I do to keep your heart because you have mine forever.” He was pinning me to the mattress sobbing now.

“Bill” I said softly, my heart breaking at his sadness. “Bill of course I love you. I could never love anyone the way I love you. You are the greatest thing to ever happen to me. I should be the one having this kinda insecurity. I mean you’re some magical, smart, powerful demon capable of doing basically whatever he wants and I’m just some talentless depressed human.” He suddenly sat up pulling me to him crushing me tightly into his chest. “I don’t know why I love you but I do and I went and made you miserable killing your parents and traumatizing you. And I love hurting you, cutting you into shreds, drinking your blood, beating you black and blue before violently fucking you. That can’t be ok for a human. You’re so fragile.” He whispered sounding defeated. I wiggled my arms out of his grip and turned his head so he was looking me in the eyes. His breath was terrible but at this moment I didn’t care, he was hurting and I had to fix it. “Bill, I love you. Yes you did permanently traumatize me but my parents weren’t good parents either. And if I disliked all that stuff you do to me I would beg and cry for you to help. I would be afraid of you and avoid you. And I most certainly would not willingly ask for more. I love you and you aren't gonna get rid of me that easily.” I stated before placing a gentle kiss on his lips. He kissed me back. He mumbled something to low for me to hear. “What?” I asked. “You’re just the most perfect human to ever exist is all.” He kissed me and flopped on his side still holding me tightly although he was more relaxed now. “I love you” he whispered. “I love you too” I whispered back. And we slowly drifted off to sleep together like that. Warm and complete with each other.

I had started noticing some changes in my body, some signs things were different. I was going to tell him that night but then I realized it would be a far better idea in the morning. When I woke up that morning he was gone. I could hear him mumbling about a headache in the bathroom and smiled to myself placing a hand on my stomach. I wasn’t sure what kinda parents we would be but I knew we could do it together.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Are you still with child?” The man asked me, his slimey bangs brushing my face as he leaned too close towards me. “No.” I replied, my voice cracking. The man gasped “He killed it didn’t he?!” “No!” I yelled extremely upset he would think Bill would do something like that to me. “No of course not, Bill may be happy to hurt lots of things but never something that he cares about. What is wrong with you?! I-I had a miscarraige. He didn’t know anything about the human pregnancy process and I am an idiot. I had pretty bad depressive mood swings and I slit my wrists once when he was gone, he rushed back to find me bleeding out on the ground and was barely able to save me. But it was too late for the baby. I killed her. He blames himself for it, for not being aware enough of what was happening to me and obsessively learned everything possible about human pregnancy and safety after that but he still hates himself for that. But it was my fault. I didn’t understand what was happening either, and instead of being open about it I shut him off and really messed up. That whole communication thing really was a struggle for us.”

The void man frowned groping me hand with his clammy unwanted fingers. I tried to pull away but he held it tighter.


	19. Woo look an update

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Look at that an update

One question kept revolving around me. My brain kept turning it around seemingly without an answer. Why me? Why did such a powerful demon who could have anyone in the universe want me? Why was I the one he chose?  
Why did Bill see me as different? Why did he want me when no one else ever would?  
Why did he want to help me even when I was a child?   
I know I can't stop loving him. I would never leave him unless he wanted me gone. But why did he want me around? I was just some pathetic human. Why did the demon choose me?   
“We were always meant for each other.” Bill says, reading my thoughts. He leans on the doorframe, taking up the entire space with his tall figure. “I've known you longer than you've known yourself. We were destined for each other in this life and every other."  
He walks over to me, each step measured and carefully placed. “We were made for each other.” His gloved fingers reach up, carefully brushing my face in a tender, loving gesture. Then he grabs my face and kisses me passionately. "I love you" he whispers "Don't ever doubt that"  
I advert my gaze from him, but he corrects it almost automatically. “Look at me.” I look into his golden eyes, soft and warm. His eyes could show a million different things. Danger, power, and get, boredom, humour, joy. But right now they seemed to be brimming with pure love and affection.

He didn't need me for any reason I could imagine but he loved me anyways.  
“I love you so much” I breathed  
"I love you so much too" he responded kissing me again gently. He then deeper the kiss and suddenly squeezed my thigh. I jumped in surprise breaking off the kiss. "Bill!" I laughed giving him a playful shove. “What?” He asked, his eyes glimmering in amusement and a small grin pulling at his lips. I just shook my head and kissed him again. He grabbed my wrists together in his hand. "Good sir" I stifled a laugh "I must demand you in hand me" I wriggled around. "Oh, and why is that?" He responded "Hm, because fight me"  
“Don't you know that's not a good idea, little girl?” His eyes glowed ethereally, staring into my soul, which was linked with his. They told me that he truly loved me and would never seriously injure me on purpose.  
He pulled out a dagger, shining. Blood dripped down my arm as I felt a pleasant burning stripe across my arm. It sliced thinly just enough to draw blood.  
His words made my heart swell “I love you more than anything. And I always will.”  
“I. . . I love y-you Bill. . .”  
“I love you too y/n."

He kissed me gently pushing me back on the bed continuing further.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking about redoing this story from a non binary perspective (and also done better cause it needs a lot of editing) so let me know what you think since people actually read this apparently


	20. Wow 2 chapters!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Look another one!

“Y/n?” The man who continued to make my skin crawl spoke. “Could I show you something?” I nodded briefly. “I guess.” A fissure opened in the wall, slowly at first, like trying to pull apart a seam. Then faster and faster still, splitting the inky darkness like a knife. It was white at the edges like a foaming whirlpool, like a thunderstorm that could strike you down in a moment.  
Looking into it, my throat constricted and my eyes started to burn. Bill was kneeling on the ground inside of a golden bubble holding my lifeless body, his head buried against my chest and sobs wracked his frame. Dipper and Mabel stood outside of it banging to get in and screaming at him. I couldn’t watch anymore. “Please, no more.” I said quietly. The creep nodded, and I caught a glimpse of his bangs before the rift snapped closed, the thread of magic sewing the invisible seam back together perfectly. “Your death affected everyone Y/n. Everyone who ever knew you, even those who didn’t. It affected us all.” I could hear the next sentence before he ever said it. “But my story’s far from finished.”  
He laughed quietly, not in humor, but not quite from pain. “No, your story’s not yet finished. But it will keep all of us hanging on till the very last page. I know it pains you, but you must continue.”  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
“Say it.” I I stuck my lip out in a pout, unwilling. “No.” I huffed. “Say it.” His voice was calm, but I could hear the underlying amusement.  
“Come on y/n, we could be having fun right now.” I stuck my tongue out at him “Now that isn't at all polite.” he chastised. I had been a bit of a brat all day. I was so bored though, he had been so busy with other stuff lately and I didn't have anything to do. So now he wanted me to apologize. I felt a little bad but i was going to be stubborn a bit longer. He hummed for a moment and I suddenly found my hands and feet restrained. He grinned at me his eyes full of mischief. "I'll stop when you apologize, he said before beginning to tickle me. I squirmed and screamed but there was no escape from the magical binds. "I-I!" I got lost in a bout of laughter. "I'm sooorryy!" He stopped and the binds released me. "There, was that so hard?" He asked kissing me on the nose. I laughed and kissed him on the mouth "I'm sorry, I've just really missed you the past few days. I love you."  
"I love you too" He said as he picked me up gently, carrying me into the bathroom.  
He turned the shower on and started to strip before moving over to me and helping me get undressed. He kissed me gently "I love you so much" he whispered in my ear. "I love you so much too" I responded. We climbed into the shower together, hot water surrounded us. He pumped shampoo into his hand and gently massaged it into my scalp. It felt heavenly. He rinsed it out before washing his own quickly. He then put some vanilla scented body soap on a pouf and gently rubbed it down my body leaving gentle kisses across my back and neck. I turned to kiss him gently on the lips as the water ran the soap away. "I love you" I said as he washed himself quickly. "I love you too" he said turning off the water and wrapping me in a big fluffy towel before grabbing one for himself. He grabbed a big yellow sweater of his for me to wear to sleep in before pulling on a pair of black boxers with little blinking eyes. "How long have I been here?" I asked suddenly. He pulled a large stopwatch out of nowhere "nearly three years" he responded before grinning. "You're almost 21, do you know what that means?" He asked. "Um, I can drink legally?" He laughed "No, and you can get a drink anytime with me doll" he said winking. "It means the curse keeping me from liberating your world will be lifted. We'll be free" I smiled at him. I didn't know why i had to be 21 for that but I was so happy to help him. Any world where i was with Bill would be a lovely one. He carried me back into the bedroom pulling the sheets back before climbing into bed with me and pulling them back up. He held me closely to his body "I love you y/n" he said kissing my cheek. I turned to meet his lips "I love you too Bill" I responded before drifting gently into pleasant dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this cheers you up Mel!
> 
> P.S. here is the link to the actual story that I am doing this one as a parody of. TW there is actual violence and non consensual stuff beyond creepy guy in the dark making you uncomfy 
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/14406240/chapters/33270093


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